Illusion
by Sekhmet49
Summary: X-Men First Class : Illusion of the mind doesn't always need a telepath nearby... Mild slash Erik/Charles
1. Chapter 1

_**ILLUSION**_

**Chapter 1 :**

It had been an extremely tiring day. All these people around him at all time, the aid in their training, the constant awareness of their minds while being obligated to contain himself to NOT hear even the most superficial thoughts, and now that he was preparing a cup of tea before, finally, going to sleep, Raven comes with her nonsense. Of course, he knows perfectly well it's not nonsense but he's not in the mood...

And now she's angry and hurt because of him... Being blue has nothing to do with it, she's naked for God's sake !

"Could you please put some clothes on Raven ? It's indecent."

"Why, do you find it disgusting ? Do you find me disgusting ?" she asks, fuming.

"This has nothing..." he tries to placate her.

"It has everything to do with it !" she exclaims.

He looks at her, standing proud yet searching for his approval. "Raven, I already told you that you're beautiful. As a little kid, I already told you that. What's happening with you nowadays ?" He's getting frustrated, he's exhausted, cranky, has yet to find the time to train himself, and oh joy, Erik's mind is approaching. He sees her opening her mouth again to begin another rant, but he interrupts her : "Erik's coming, you might want to tone it down"

Just then, Eric comes in, but perceiving the tension between us, stays in the doorway. And like that, seeing him, she begins anew :

"He can stay, after all he's the one to convince me I shouldn't be ashamed ! It's thanks to him, not you ! You never try to understand what it's like for others, you have it so easy, people don't look away from you ! Even I have the right to appear as the real me, you have no right to tell me otherwise !" Her eyes are bright with indignation, hurt, confusion and a mess of unrecognizable emotions.

Just then, he's thrust in a memory (one of his for once) about the beginning of their relationship. Quite shortly after her arrival in the household, she had asked him to not look in her mind at all because of her privacy. Seeing she was one of the very few precious people he had, he had acquiesced, and from this time onwards, reigned in his power to cloak it around himself as closely as possible, even if every nights, he got a hurtful pulsing headache. Some days later, to avoid a struggle outside, he asked her to take upon a more common appearance. When he left, her eyes had shown the hurt, making him feel guilty. She didn't really need to know of his headaches, did she?

Coming back to the present, he realizes in his fatigue, he has projected his memories to the other two. Erik seems surprised, and sympathetic too. Raven, she's obviously still angry and not thinking clearly... "Raven, maybe we could talk about it when you've calmed down ?" Apparently it was the wrong thing to say.

"Reading my mind again !" Erik tries to stop her, without results. She continues : "You shouldn't make promises at all Charles ! You need to control yourself, it's upsetting for others !"

And he snaps, finally it's too much, he sneers : "Oh I see, to appear basically naked everywhere because you're blue; and thus using your true form is perfectly fine, but letting my power run freely is completely out of bounds !" She looks stunned, she obviously never tried my point of view. "You do realize I have to concentrate every single second of the day on my shields for them to hold against all the minds I'm in contact with ? Or you simply didn't deem me _unnatural_ enough to notice any kind of struggle whatsoever ? And I'm the insensitive one ?"

"_Charles... Would you like for me to handle her...?" _Erik projects to me, he looks concerned... I guess as I lose my cool so rarely, it must seem catastrophic for me to react so aggressively. Perhaps it's better this way. _"Yes... Thank you my friend..." _and he left the kitchen, ignoring Raven and once more trying to not project anything in the minds reunited in the mansion, enterprise rendered much more difficult with his high emotions.


	2. Chapter 2

**And here is the second chapter !**

**Thanks to the reviewers !**

Disclaimer : I don't own anything related to X-Men.

_"Telepath & metalbender"_ = thoughts

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 :<strong>

(Erik's POV)

As I watch Charles go to his room, I cannot help but to feel a bit ashamed of myself too, I never really wondered if his gift was hard to live with or not. He always seem so in control, like it comes easily to him. We are all so rapidly adapting to having him taking care of us, we never stopped to think about his hardships, we take him for granted. But first, Raven :

"Raven... I know I told you to be natural, but antagonizing the closest you have as a family is not going to help anything... Even if I admit I didn't consider his difficulties either..." She seems shocked, "I..." she hesitates "I didn't... want... to..." "I know Raven, maybe you could talk just the two of you when he's better, hm? I'll go see if he's up to bear my presence..." And I left her still standing in the kitchen, through I notice she morphed some clothes on, probably unconsciously.

He walks through the halls until he reaches the door of Charles' room. Despite their numerous nights of chess and discussions, he only rarely went into Charles' domain, and he can't help but to develop a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, suspiciously like butterflies, and he doesn't really know what this sensation is.

Before even knocking he hears a "come in" from inside, so either he stood before the door longer than he thought or Charles is really less patient tonight, as usually he lets us make our choices, important or not. Not that he blames him, he was always convinced people with Charles' patience didn't exist, and usually knowing in advance what's happening in people's head, their feelings and decisions, even before themselves, without saying anything and speed up the process must require a lot of concentration and generate some frustration.

When he enters Charles' quarters he realizes how dark it is in there, probably because the light is worsening his headache, and after getting accustomed to the lack of light, he perceives the shape of his friend lying on the sofa (and why on earth does his heart beats strangely at the sight of this man ?).

"Charles" he whispers, "do you want to be alone ?" He hopes he's not too intrusive, he's not comfortable, never really had to comfort or take care of anyone before...

"You can stay Erik, though I should warn you my control is extremely bad at this moment, and I can't put up shields." Well, at least he answered... And Erik realizes that it doesn't bother him so much that Charles might know his mind...strange... But then, the exploration of these feelings would be better done once alone, both in shape and in mind (although distance probably doesn't make a difference to Charles...)

Despite the obvious close temper of his friend, he has some questions to ask, he doesn't want to disturb him, but his paroles in the kitchen rendered him curious.

"You can question me a bit my friend, though not too loud, my head wouldn't be able to bear it."

After some time to organize his ideas, he goes on : "I just realized Charles that we don't really know what your power entails... Would you mind tell me why you never expanded on it ? Even Raven doesn't seem to really know it..."

"Well that would be because my power makes her uncomfortable, so I didn't talk about it with her, or with anyone for that matter" Never ? Erik understands then how frustrating it must be with Raven always in some sort of angst because of her appearance, and no consideration of her brother state of mind toward his mutation, simply because it doesn't affect his physical aspect.

"And to answer your other question, I didn't want to frighten anyone with my power" Well this one was unexpected, he's completely stunned, frighten anyone, Charles ?

Said man begins to laugh "You would too my friend. Sometimes I'm even scared of myself..." he says with a peculiar undertone, something between sadness and anger...

"But... what exactly can you do then ?" _"Ah isn't it the million dollar question ?"_ he hears in his mind, tinted by amusement, but he answers aloud anyway.

"Globally, I can do everything that requires the mind." Seeing, or feeling, Erik's obvious confusion, he elaborates : "know the life of someone, including all the repressed memories, force the mind and so the person to do my bidding, erase memories, modify perceptions, alter some parts of a memory, freeze someone, communicate by thoughts, move objects by a mere thought, the possibilities are close to limitless, at least regarding the power, ethically it's another matter. I can also connect and communicate with anything just sentient, which includes animals, old forests, earth and such. And all of this, within a zone of 50km, which can go up to 300km from me."

Charles doesn't know if he made the right decision by telling Erik the expense of his power, but if someone can bear the truth it's him, and probably the only one who deserves the truth, bar Raven, but she's always focused on her blue skin. He continues : "All of this means that if I'm not actively shielding, I receive all the thoughts of people of quite a big part of the town, and generally know the mind of people around me almost better than my own."

Erik is amazed, his friend is so much more powerful than any of the others in the mansion will ever be, or will ever envision and it's only because of a set of rules, his own and those imposed by his education, that he doesn't have the world at his feet. Looking at his friend, resting in this big sofa, in an overgrown study, makes him see how Charles is a walking contradiction, with his scholar inconspicuous persona, and this huge amount of power inside. But something is troubling him, which may explain his friend's current temper...

While Erik ponders, Charles observes him, because he finds it fascinating to see the emotions on his friend's face, even if the man is convinced to put on a cold mask all the time. Ah, and there's the apprehension, and something else he cannot quite precise, suspiciously like admiration and concern ? Whatever for ?

"But if your power is so... well... powerful, doesn't it hurt or something to always keep it so tightly around yourself?" Charles is astonished, here's is why Erik Lensherr is an exceptional man. Someone, that he met only a few weeks ago cares enough to ask if he is uncomfortable to not use his power, whereas he reminds himself bitterly that his sister in all but blood didn't bring up the question even once. It makes him inexplicably sad and tired. "Indeed my friend, it does hurt, quite a lot if I'm surrounded by a lot of people for a long moment, through it improves the more time I pass with the mansion full around me."

"And, do you need to train a lot ?"

"Everyday I need to let my power run free, I wouldn't be able to bear the pressure otherwise; which explains partly why I'm an insomniac ! It alleviates my conscience to let it go once everyone else is sleeping, though sometimes I receive some … hm, personal dreams..."

Erik ponders the almost deceptive nature of Charles, which for once is based on his kindness and consideration for others. Really, Emma Frost and Charles both create illusions, just of e different kind.

After some silence, through comfortable, Erik asks a question almost timidly : "Would it be possible to observe you during one of your training ?"

The next reply is his head, and the voice appears surprised : _"Of course my friend if you wish, as long as you realize that by being in close range for these sessions, Your mind will be completely open to me..."_

"_But it's always the case, no ? Only your... courtesy stops you, doesn't it ?"_

"_Indeed..."_

Erik feels strangely excited to learn more about Charles, yet looking at him, one can notices how tired he is.

He decides to help soothe his friend to decrease his headache. He comes over, sits down on the sofa too, places gently Charles' head on his lap, and begins to lightly massage his temples. He hesitates but Charles doesn't object. It feels strange to be this close of someone else, he didn't think he'd still be able to get close to someone, and yet, with Charles he came closer both physically and emotionally. So much that he's actually quite happy to help his friend, although that may have something to do with running his hands through his hair...

Looking down, he realizes Charles has fallen asleep, even if it doesn't mean his telepathy is inactive, as apparently, it cannot be inactive.

He's comfortable here, and his eyes are getting rather heavy. They'll have to talk more thoroughly tomorrow. Just before drifting to sleep, one sentence finally hit him _("...sometimes I receive...personal dreams...")_ He then derives to the land of dreams, with Charles' head lying in his lap.


	3. Chapter 3

**Baxter Preserve** is an area of open space in North Salem, New York (County of Westchester, like the Xavier Mansion)

Disclaimer : I don't own anything related to X-Men

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 :<strong>

The next morning, Erik awakes alone in his own bed, covered by a blanket. For a few moments he's confused, not remembering how he came here...

"_Good morning my friend. You seem confused. Do not worry too much, I transported you to your room and no one saw you in this immense moment of weakness !"_ His friend sounds way too amused for this early morning. However, it still doesn't explain how Charles managed to carry him all the way to his bedroom, he's quite shorter than him... _"Maybe I transported you with my power, hm ? What do you think, would it be possible ?"_ He frowns, now Charles is clearly laughing in his head. _"Do not worry Erik, I'm coming with breakfast for both of us, I dare say you need a dose of coffee. Of very strong coffee."_ Damn telepath, so chipper in the morning... though coffee sounds appealing.

A few moments later, Charles enters with the tray floating ahead of him, hands in his pockets, and the door somehow close itself while the tray hovers above the only table free in this part of the room. It's quite exceptional, Charles doesn't normally uses his powers so openly. _"Well, you wanted to see me training, didn't you ?"_ He looks up to see his friend is just standing in front of him with a tiny grin that shouldn't be allowed, due to its effects on him !

"It begins with a lot of little things, done at the same time, to improve my precise control with little intensity of power. I have a lot of other exercises to show you all day long !" Charles is looking excited, almost childlike. He's giddy with joy, to finally have someone interested in his capacity, and, dares he admit it, to show off. He just hopes at the end of the day Erik is not gonna be frightened of him. He trusts his friend but cannot help but feel an inkling of doubt at the back of his mind, because despite what Raven may think, he does have insecurities too.

They set to have breakfast, and both are thinking along the same lines, although without the other knowing, that this scene is suspiciously cozy... but still agreeable. Once done, Charles sits back, and begins to explain to Erik what he has in store for the both of them in this day.

"As I'm sure you've realized, it is still extremely early. That is because firstly, I couldn't sleep, and secondly I planned to go to a special place of mine to make an entire day reserved to my training, the only difference being that I take you with me. We'll be going to Baxter Preserve, a quite big Park that belongs to a friend of my parents, who became _...convinced..._that I needed free access to it..." says Charles, looking a little embarassed. "My my my, you little trickster...!" And Erik cannot help but love the sight of the light blush invading Charles' face... who is blushing even more by the way... _"Erik... can you stop complimenting my blush...please ..?"_ Yet, he feels strangely in a playful mood now that he's awake _"I don't know Charles, it is truly an interesting sight to see..."_ _"Shut up !"_

Charles doesn't know what is happening to him, if he wasn't sure of being an heterosexual, he would think being attracted to Erik, though he is a very attractive man (and where does this comment come from ?)... well anyway, he'll ponder on this new development later on.

"So, I propose we meet each other at the front door in 30 minutes, we'll take the Bentley , is that all right ?"

"Of course Charles".

And they set to get ready for this most certainly unique day in their evolving relationship.

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><p>A quite short chapter, but a big one (hopefully !) ahead of us !<p>

Please feel free to review and/or point out mistakes I might have done, as English is not my mother tongue. ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Baxter Preserve** is an area of open space in North Salem, New York (County of Westchester, like the Xavier Mansion)

My apologies if there are mistakes, I do not have a beta and English is not my first language, so even if I verify, some might escape. Especially about the use of verbs' tense, I'm not sure it's correct by literature's rules, but it felt good !

Please feel free to point them out for me !

"_thoughts"_

Disclaimer : I don't own anything related to X-Men

_**ILLUSION : **_

**Chapter 4 : **

Then they set to their little adventure. Charles was driving the Bentley, proposing otherwise would have been completely out of line, as suggested the almost glare he sent Erik once in front of the car.

After quite a short ride in a companionable silence, they arrived at their destination. Erik was impressed by the shear size of the preserve. There were lone trees, and some in a kind of forest, mostly old imposing broad-leaved trees, a lake, several torrents flying between rocks, a river, and plenty of trails to discover this safe heaven.

While Erik was observing the environment, Charles took out their picnic from the trunk of the car, which Erik hadn't even noticed was packed for them, though he should have thought about it, and made it float near them.

"_Well... should we my friend ?"_ _"I follow you Charles._" And Charles lead them through a maze of turns among the trees, to finally come with a wonderful calm lake, fulled by a few torrents. It certainly illustrated the image of serenity that Charles evoked with him for his own training. _" Indeed my friend. And that is why I like to come here when I need to be alone and to... be free, because contrary to you, I do not spend my days contemplating my anger, frustration or rage – do not look at me like that, yes I can feel rage, like every other human being – as this place, with all its serenity and tranquility is the perfect counterpart of these tumultuous emotions, and helps me find balance even then."_

Erik is suspended to Charles monologue, he's discovering a facet of his friend he never knew even existed, and even a little ashamed to know that like all these _humans_, he trusted his vision of a man's facade regardless of any further explorations. Nonetheless, instead of feeling inferior by his lack of knowledge, as he might have felt just a few weeks prior, he feels humble yet special to be the one his friend decides to open up to. "What are you going to work on then ?"

"_Well, As I explained in short this morning, I need to practice precise control with little intensity, precise control with strong intensity, large fields with little power but strong awareness, or with a lot of power, and lastly, multitasking, like influencing a large field, with quite a lot of power, while controlling a precise little thing, which is still an aspect of my telepathy I do not control perfectly. Although, as you may have guess, nowadays, I'm more of a psychic mutant than purely a telepath." _

"_You'll have to explain one day to me how is it our gifts evolve so, but I have a question before... if you would..." "Of course, go ahead Erik"_ Oh, he really shouldn't focus on the feelings that hearing his name in his head by this voice procure... _"How is that multitasking is more difficult, seems to me using a lot of power for a large field would be..." "Well, maybe because the last time I tried it, I was positively distracted..."_ says Charles with the beginning of a blush... though Erik has no idea why. _Indeed_, Charles thoughts for himself, _I was so busy contemplating my growing feelings for you my friend that I couldn't focus properly, and I'm not even talking about this body... Focus Charles, focus !_

"_So, what exercises did you invent to practice ?_"

"_Firstly, before any sort of exercise, I need to let go of the majority of my shields between me and the others, then between the others and me. This is to let my power... free for lack of a better word, and to work on my awareness, my connection with the environment, which is a key to not lose my own mind when I'm exploring."_ Then, Charles looks a bit sheepish before adding the next part. _"I'm not sure how you're going to feel when I let go of the barriers, I never had anyone with me for my trainings..._" Erik feels kind of special now, of course he could have deduced that earlier, but hearing it said aloud, kinda makes a difference. "_Do so Charles, I do not mind... especially since you already know quite a lot of my mind..."_

Charles then hesitates a bit, before daring to take his friend hand to usher both of them to lye down, before releasing him, making him feel the loss. Once set, Charles lets go of his tensions, his feelings calm a bit, and then he lets go of the different layers in his shields. More and more his awareness, his communication with the nature increases, and strangely the feeling of Erik's mind is foreign yet agreeable.

During this, Erik observes the psychic, and despite the distraction that it proves to be, little by little he can see small rocks hovering in the air, the water doing a very symmetric design, and even the trees at some point begin to move as one, which in fact corresponds to Charles' respiration ! Erik is absolutely amazed. At this moment, Charles open his eyes again, and what beautiful eyes he has. Erik doesn't think he has ever seen anyone with eyes a more unique blue, currently deepened in color by the power. As cheesy as it sounds, he would like to get lost in this gaze. That's when Charles talks in his head, almost stuttering _"Perhaps... we could explore the possibility when I do not need so avidly to work...?"_ Which made him blush (him !) thankfully at the same time that Charles, nonetheless he notices Charles is not averse to the idea. A almost full grin wants to lodge itself on his face, and he has to restrain himself to not distract Charles more, because his gaze already quite fixed on his lips._"I apologize Charles, and yes I'd be amenable to discussion later." And isn't that an euphemism !_ The smile that reaches Charles' eyes is certainly worth the wait. _"Well then, I'm ready for further work."_

It's time for the real training...


	5. Chapter 5

**Baxter Preserve**is an area of open space in North Salem, New York (County of Westchester, like the Xavier Mansion)

My apologies if there are mistakes, English is not my first language, so even if I verify, some might escape.

Please feel free to point them out for me !

"_telepathy"_

Disclaimer :I don't own anything related to X-Men

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><p><em><strong>ILLUSION :<strong>_

**Chapter 5 :**

Their day had been extremely busy and eventful for the two men, concerning both Charles' training and their relationship. Indeed, Charles had managed to extend his field of influence even more than before, which, probably due to his use of Cerebro, was far easier for him. It had certainly taught him how to manage so many minds at the same time without hurting neither them nor himself, and indeed, the strain felt usually when extending his power's range was almost absent. He had worked on controlling the animals on the Preserve, one by one, several in the same area, and finally several little beasts at completely different regions of the park, all the way increasing the difficulty of the task he'd asked of them, because the control needed increases with the reticence of the subject. For instance, he had managed to awake a female owl close to midday, to make her fly around for over an hour though passing by several preys without any sort of hunt. To spice up the exercise, Erik had agreed to participate. While Charles was ordering something to one or more animals, Erik had to think of a word the shortest time he was able to, and the goal was for Charles to catch every one of them. When Charles was satisfied with that he devised another work : He was to enter Erik's mind to explore a bit without being detected, and this exercise was rendered more difficult as Charles was trying really hard to not actually _see_the memories or thoughts, not that it worked everytime, even if he didn't tell Erik of this special trouble.

However, another turning point in their relationship, though not the last of the day, came when Charles dared to ask permission to control Erik's mind.

"Erik – had he begun hesitantly – I would like to try another exercise, now that I have someone close enough to me to actually want to help me, because ordering animals is all well and good but the human mind is something else entirely. I... Would you... give me permission to... take control of you...?" had he finally asked while avoiding Erik's eyes.  
>Erik had been stumped and had drawn a blank for a moment. Indeed, relinquishing his mind to exploration and to full control were two very different matters, but only after a small amount of time looking into his friend's eyes, who had looked up probably at the absence of a resounding no, he had been able to see, deep in these eyes, all the sincerity, concern, empathy and hesitation his friend was feeling, reassuring him, although the love hidden deep in this gaze may have help to determine his decision. Therefore, he agreed to help Charles. For once he was participating in a sort of experimentation willingly and almost eagerly... Certainly a change !<p>

Consequently, Charles took control of his friend, making him do things like freeze, turn over himself, answer questions with the truth or a lie, any sort of action that erik wouldn't have done normally, etc... He, of course, made a point to not overstep his boundaries and so never asked anything humiliating or reminiscing of the tragedy Erik had lived, even if there certainly was an undertone of it, by the mere act of testing.

Among the things Erik would retain from this day, the most important one was surely to never again underestimate Charles Xavier. This man was a master to keep people in an illusion of safety next to him while he had the ability to do virtually (almost for real !) anything with anyone. He didn't want to imagine what would have happened had Charles been submitted to a childhood like his. Erik was honest enough with himself to know that his desire of vengeance inside someone as powerful as Charles (that is alone, and not even talking about all the people ready to follow him) would have been a disaster, worldwide. He certainly didn't understand how could Charles think he, the metal-bender, become more powerful than him.

Now, they were just relaxing a bit, though Erik could still feel Charles in the background of his mind, in a companionable silence, when they were surprised by sudden heavy rain. In a matter of seconds they were completely soaked. They ran toward a gigantic oak, and settled under it to wait for the moment to pass. As it was still quite warm and their wet clothes were truly uncomfortable, they decided to at least take off their shirts.  
>However, they had forgotten what was hidden by these shirts. While the presence of scars on Erik's skin was not a surprise considering his past, it was still a wholly different affair to see the proof of inhumanity in human kind. So, of course, Erik was quite uncomfortable to show this proof of his suffering, but knew intellectually that Charles was already aware of their presence along with the whole rest of his life, even if he never mentioned that his knowledge extended that far.<p>

Yet, the big shock came for Erik when he saw Charles' back for the first time. You see, Charles was not accustomed to pay attention whether he was alone to change or not seeing that the only other one in the mansion besides the domestics was Raven, who was not ignorant of the problem anyway, which is why he completely forgot about his own set of scars, only to be reminded when he felt deep feelings of horror, concern and rage emanating from Erik. At this point, Charles didn't have an inkling of an idea as to how act in such circumstances. Only Raven was aware of these scars, and that was because she was here when the actual injuries were made and were in need of care. Otherwise, he never had to wonder about a person's reaction to them, even with his one night stands, he made sure most of them didn't really remember anything in detail. But, with Erik, it was a different matter. His opinion of him had become so important recently that now Charles was petrified. He could feel his color vary between red and starkly white, his body was beginning to shake, and his mind was at the same time going in circles and being completely blank.

Erik for his part went through several emotional states extremely fast. He was extremely surprised to discover his friend's scars, it hadn't even occurred to him that Charles might not have an ideal life so far, what with the mansion, the money, etc... Then he became concerned, not knowing what had happened, if they still made him suffer, or if the responsible one was still around, to finally settle for rage, as usual for him, although the ideas of sweet tortures he had in mind for the bastard who made this were new in their origin. He had an imperious want to obliterate in the most possible way those responsible for this ignominy. No one was allowed to hurt his Charles ! Wait, HIS Charles, since when...? Oh well, why not... might as well admit it already ! Yet, his irrational anger decreased like molten snow as soon as he saw the state of panic of his very dear Charles. He knew he had to do something...  
>"Charles - he began gently – calm down... There is no need to panic..." it was obviously not working, not surprising since he had never been good with words. So he decided to act instead. He approached slowly his friend, only to awkwardly take him in his arms. He could feel Charles tensed in his embrace, but didn't let go. He wanted to make Charles understand he was here for him.<p>

Little by little Charles relaxed in his friend's hold. He let himself be held and supported, then sat on the ground, still in Erik's embrace.

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><p><strong>Please review !<strong>

**I personally think my writing improves bit by bit, what do you think ?**


	6. Chapter 6

My apologies if there are mistakes, English is not my first language, so even if I verify, some might escape.

Please feel free to point them out for me !

**I'm so sorry for the wait, but the holidays are finished, I've just bought a horse and I had inspiration for another fandom real quick, so here comes!**

"_telepathy"_

Disclaimer : I don't own anything related to X-Men

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><p><em><strong>ILLUSION : <strong>_

**Chapter 6 : **

It was only after at least half an hour that Charles managed to control and recompose himself. Although he was still terrified of the inevitable upcoming discussion, the feeling of Erik's arms around him allowed him to use Erik as an anchor of sorts. He was at the same time thankful and upset that Erik stayed with him.

On one hand, he had someone to support him, to draw strength from, to use as a pillar during one of his rare nervous breakdowns, it also proved Erik's attachment toward him, but on the other hand, he had never allowed anyone other than Raven to even just be aware of what was happening inside the Xavier's Mansion, much less to observe a clear insight of his feelings on the matter. It was even more distressing, because he knew Erik wouldn't let it go, he would want to know everything about it, every detail and he would want to do something about it...

"Charles..." _There it is – _thought the latter. He felt Erik take a deep breath, obviously to calm his temper that he could feel boiling under the surface. He was afraid of his reaction to his past; maybe he would leave once knowing everything? He couldn't even iagine what would be his life without Erik anymore...

"I think you should talk about it to someone and... I'd be ready to be this person, but I can understand if you prefer to wait for a more opportune moment to do so. Just keep in mind I'm here for you and I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon." How could this man always know what to tell him? It baffled him.

"Are you sure you are not a hidden telepath?" That at least placed a tiny smile on Erik's face.  
>"Nice try Charles, but you will not distract me so easily."<br>"Well, I could try..." sighed the telepath.

A moment passed, though neither of them would have been able to say how much time, before Charles reached a decision.  
>"Erik... I don't think I'm ready to give you all the details... but I think I'd like to talk a bit about it... if it's all right?..."<p>

Erik was humbled. It was incredible to see this completely different facet of his friend's personality, it was so easy to forget that he could also have problems, fears and secrets; he always presented such a controlled front...

"You see, when I was relatively young, my father died from illness. It was quite shortly after Raven's arrival in the household. However, my mother married again quite soon an associate of my father, Kurt Marko, who came to live with us with his son Cain. Both of them were downright nasty with me because of my intelligence, my heir rights to the inheritance and my _freakishness_. Soon it developed in real abuse.

Mother was never really of any help since she became alcoholic almost at the same time, and I didn't want them to be able to focus on Raven, as everytime thy thought of her their thoughts would turn quite disgusting, so I made sure to become their prime target.

So before you ask, there was someone who knew all along what was happening, Raven, but it wouldn't have been safe with our mutations to try to talk to someone outside, and inside the mansion none cared."

Here Charles stopped because he didn't want to follow the explanation anymore but didn't know how to change the subject without appearing like a coward fleeing from his problems.

After a while, Erik tightened his hold on the younger man, sighed a little before placing a kiss on his forehead.  
>"Thank you Charles for your trust..." he whispered.<p>

Then he let go, only to maneuver the youngest enough to be able to look at him in the eyes.  
>"When you're ready I would like for you to talk a bit more about it, it would do you good, especially concerning the whole <em>rage and serenity<em>thing" he added with a tiny grin, which brought a small laugh out of them.

Upon a moment of hesitation, Erik dared again: "As it is a place for confessions, I would like to... ask you... if you would be amenable to pursue our relationship... in a more romantic way?..."

Erik realized his question was awkward and way too formal, but he was clearly lacking experience in this department. He could only hope his pitiful attempts would not be enough to drive Charles away.

His musings were interrupted by a soft hand on his cheek. He reported his attention back to Charles, only to have the pleasure to discover a soft smile on his face.

"I would like that Erik." They shared a smile.  
>"I do not know how much time we have left before Shaw's attack, but I'd like for us to take it slow... How about we fix a rule of one day a week just the both of us, or do you think it's too presumptuous?"<p>

"It's perfect Charles."

And so, Charles settled again in the arms of his future lover, just to enjoy the feel of each other in this calm environment.

They didn't know what the future would throw at them or how the whole Shaw's debacle would turn out, but they were sure of one thing: they would be together all the way.

* * *

><p>And I'm done!<p>

I hope you liked it and that my end is not too awkward!

;-)

**Please review!**


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